I came up with this at 4am when I was in Italy, boiling and couldn’t sleep due to a very persistent mosquito who had chosen to make an evening meal out of me. This is a tongue in cheek way of showing I’m not great at the blogger cliche thing – BUT any blogger who actually likes marble, cacti and avocado on toast please don’t be offended. (You’re still wrong about avocado on toast though.)
1. I own nothing marble
I can’t seem to find anything marble related that I actually need though, save for, you know, an actual marble kitchen work surface (THE DREAM). I refuse to buy a marble notebook because I’d only use it for work and I go through enough notebooks as it is without adding expensive ones to the list.
2. I forget to take OOTD’s
You know how it is – you get all dolled up and drag your partner outside to take an OOTD, but wind up getting distracted by next door’s dog and then forgetting about the photo thing and going to eat pasta instead. Then suddenly remembering your earlier intention of taking a decent pic of what you were wearing, but by now you have so much pasta sauce down your outfit, you’re basically wearing carbonara as a hat. No? Just me then?
3. I hate avocado on toast
This is also why I’m rubbish at Instagram (although you can still follow me at CharlotteActually). I’m generally okay with avocados in salads and on the side with a nice quesadilla or something, but avocados mashed up on toast just does not do it for me. It may be a texture thing (I’m not wild about mashed avocado in any form) but I think it’s more to do with pairing an avocado with hot toast, making the avocado slightly warm. And warm avocado is a horrible thing, and should be avoided at all costs.
4. I don’t get succulents/cacti/terrariums
Right, so cacti inevitably will cause you to accidentally prick your finger, succulents come with tiny fruit flies that spring from nowhere and won’t sodding leave, and terrariums… Well done, you have a tiny garden inside a jar. They take up valuable shelf space that can be otherwise filled with discarded cups of tea and old DVD’s.
5. I don’t have photogenic pets
My mum has a lovely, lovely dog named Milo but his favourite thing is to lie on his back with all four paws in the air, looking a bit like he’s died and we’ve had him stuffed that way. We also have a cat but she fell off a roof and broke her jaw so in addition to being the world’s Most Expensive Cat(TM), she is also now a bit wonky. The only bonus is that she now can’t bite anyone because of how her jaw has healed, which is a major plus because she could be a vicious little thing.